Professor Melissa's
Spicy Pageš„
Does Professor MelissaĀ make spicy content?
I do, and you've found it! Here, you'll find all of my spicy content.Ā
Oh, wait, you meant a different kind of spicy content?Ā š¤ Like OnlyFans? Well, no, I don't have that, nor will I ever.Ā
While I'm flattered that anyone would be interested in seeing my middle-aged self with a lil' extra wiggle and jiggle from too much cruise food, and stretch marks from birthing two human beings, and I get asked the "do you have a spicy page" question frequently, that is not (nor will it ever be) anything that is ever of interest to me.Ā
No shame, though. Get that bag, girlies! (and some gents), but that's not the way I roll. But below, you'll find my specially curated spicy content.
Shop My Favorite SwimwearSpicy Talk
But why all the bathing suit pics?!
Just because a gal posts pics of herself in swimwear doesn't mean she's into being nekkid for other's consumption. Sheesh. Also:
1. I am a childhood cancer survivor, and as a byproduct of that, including the removal of the tumor and one of my kidneys, I spent my life from age 18 months to a few years ago with a massive abdominal disfiguration. I had it surgically corrected a few years ago, and it was the most amazing thing ever! After hating my stomach and being ashamed of it for my entire life, I relished having a "normal" one. You better freaking bet I'm gonna show it off!
2.Ā I firmly believe that Americans need to move past the puritanical mindset, especially given the blatant contradiction of our cultureās obsessive fixation on and oversexualization of the human body (most harshly directed at women).
3. I obviously cruise often (monthly), regularly to Caribbean locations. And guess what people tend to do at the beach? Wear swimsuits! And -shocker- they often photograph themselves when they're on vacation!
4. I think all women should embrace their bodies and wear what makes them feel good and what's comfortable. Get over it.
5. I make money to support my cruise and buffalo wing addictions via my Amazon storefront when people buy clothes and swimwear that I wear and recommend. Thank you to all who buy from my links.Ā ā„ļø
Shop My Favorite SwimwearMy Favorite Spicy Things
Cholulua
I love spice, but my body doesn't, so I have a pretty low tolerance. But Cholulua is just the right amount of kick. Cruise food can sometimes be bland, so I sometimes bring a mini bottle with me. I've got hot sauces in my bag swag.
Get Ya' Some
Hot Fries
This little blast from the past brings back nostalgia of one of my favorite snackies from childhood. So good, so crunchy, so spicy!Ā
Get Ya' Some
Wing Sauce
Buffalo wings are one of my top favorite foods, and while WingStop is my absolute fave, I do love the mild sauce from BW3.
Get Ya' SomeBuy me some wangs...
Ā I'm not kidding when I say I love wings (or as I like to call them... WANGS). Like, obsessed, and I could eat them every day. If you enjoy my spicy content and want to support my spicy consumption, feel free to contribute.
I hope you have thoroughly enjoyed my spicy content.Ā š
Baby, let's cruise...
What are you waiting for? Let us get you booked on an epic cruise (or land-based) adventure! My team is theĀ spiciest and they're here to help.š„
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